Gibson Guitar...How I went bankrupt (again), or why should I learn to play an instrument when I can scratch a record, synth a few beats and be COOL!

Gibson Guitar in Nashville is tanking again. Yup. Can't sell enough of those $5,000-$15,000 Les Pauls or E335's or Flying V's or even the bargain basement Epiphone Casinos or Les Paul copies in order to keep afloat. Just because the guy who bought the company last time they were sinking plays guitar a bit doesn't mean he has the chops to keep up with changing musical taste. He loves guitars. Just ask the guy who sold Lawrence Welk his last accordion.("Folk music? The Beatles? It's just a fad...Polka will be back on top! Just wait and see.") Uh, no.

Dude. Hear me.

Techno played at high volume can change your heartbeat. That fake bass drum thump would turn back the North Korean Army at full charge. Pulse after pulse. You stop listening. You must protect yourself from aural injury! Relentless. Ruthless and not particularly musical!
It's kind of like getting your groove on when a construction guy is busting up some concrete with a jackhammer. When he stops to wipe his sweaty brow you raise your lighter and beg for an encore. He throws his helmet at you and tells you to f*ck off. After all he's in construction and there was no additional money going to change hands.

To make money in music today you don't need to be a musician. Why waste the time to learn how to play an instrument much less learn to sing. All you need is some tasty flow and go online and download some beats to your laptop or iPad and with just the right lights and a microphone you could be a star.  Who needs music when you can scratch a needle across a vinyl platter and skip  the record to the relentless beat of the computer generated monotony of beeps, clicks and deep rooted thumps. Euro style techno has been king in dance clubs for decades. Got their own Billboard Charts.

I know. I just have to wait all the while clutching my Les Paul tightly to my chest cause I know it's juuuuust a fad. Music played on real instruments will come back. I just know it will...(fade to transition Gibson Custom Shop Les Paul Headstone on grave atop a cemetery's snow covered hill. Inscription obscured by drift. A gust of wind reveals the chiseled words, "10 Blue Fingers Freshly Packed and Ready To Serve."
Headstone falls over, fingers crumble, fade to black. Drop the mike...Peace!